Every once in awhile, we may come to realize that things just aren’t going well in our lives but we’re unsure as to why that’s happening. There really isn’t anything different about our lives or the style in which we live it so everything should be just fine. But it isn’t! For those of us who are attuned to our thoughts and feelings while trusting them, we may conclude that we need to examine or re-examine our priorities in order to get back on track. Some people go to pencil and paper while others just think about the priorities and what needs to be changed.
However, whatever the choice, there is something that underlies any attempts that we might make either at defining them or changing our priorities. Our priorities are connected to two very important parts of our makeup … our values and our beliefs. Unless those two elements are entered into the equation of making changes, those changes will be short-lived and probably fold within either a brief or extended period of time. When this happens, there is a sense of discouragement for most people that leads them to abandon their efforts and experience a sense of failure. They really haven’t failed … they just left out two very important ingredients. It’s like baking a cake without adding the baking powder. It just isn’t going to rise and become the delicacy that you intended.
Our values contain the views and impressions of those views that we have of our world and how we live our lives. An example might be placing a high value on integrity and truthfulness while conducting business or valuing the role of the family in our lives. It is very important because of the influence that it has over our thinking and functioning on a daily basis. Our values tend to govern our activities that lead us down certain paths … or the choices that we may end up making … for ourselves and others. The preponderance of our values tend to create the reputation that we tend to have in the eyes and minds of others.
Our beliefs are based in a system that we have developed over years of holding certain tenets as being important as they determine the value system that we hold dear. Our belief system may stem from our childhoods or we may have changed certain aspects of it during our adult lives. An example might be that as a child, we may have been the product of a divorce situation which created a great fear that the same thing might occur in our adult lives. However, meeting someone and being happily married for several years with a fine family has changed that belief. Some people hold onto their beliefs throughout their lifetimes even though they may suffer consequences as a result. For them, it is like their beliefs are “written in stone” and they do not understand that the can change all or parts of them. Life may become a drudge but they may have resolved to live with what they know best and be willing to suffer the consequences.
As we are able to determine just what our value and belief systems are and how they affect our lives, we can then begin to look at the priorities that are based upon those systems in order to determine whether they still hold up or are in the proper order so that we can live a healthy, happy and effective lifestyle. As with our value and belief systems, our priorities can, and often must, change in order to feel a sense of control over our lives. It isn’t a matter of controlling life or others in our lives. It is more a matter of taking control of the journey that we choose instead of those choices being made by others or by chance.
Both as a consultant and author, Charles Bonasera’s story-telling have motivated people to change patterns and resolve problems in their lives. All of his books contain valuable, practical lessons that people can easily apply to bettering and managing their lifestyles. He has also written a myriad of articles which can be found on his website at www.charlesmbonasera.com.