It Is Your Destiny

My wife and I have gotten hooked watching the new show Merlin on TV. The show takes place in Camelot where magic is banned by order of the King. Merlin is a young man who is the future King’s (Arthur) servant and is constantly getting into trouble because he can perform magic … for good purposes only, of course.

One of the frequent expressions used as dialogue is It is (or is not) your destiny. Essentially the meaning of these words is that there is little choice and that an individual must or must not do what his destiny dictates. Now, there may be another meaning to those words as they might be used in our more modern times. For instance, I believe that it was my destiny to become a psychotherapist because of my mother’s influence. It wasn’t that I didn’t have a choice, it was more that I was attracted to a profession in which I could help those in need who had relationship or emotional problems as she did as a non-professional helped those with problems all the time.

And so, one’s destiny can become a “magnet” that pulls a person into a particular way of life, job or profession because of life experiences that have helped mold that individual previous to their entry into their future “destiny.” Of course, there are always choices as exemplified in my having worked for a dentist and studied in the pre-dental program in college for three years before I decided to move into the study of the social patterns that people exhibited. I thought that dentistry was my destiny but I came to find out that it wasn’t (much to my mother’s disappointment because she always wanted me to be a “doctor”).

Whatever the “pull” that represents one’s destiny attraction, I believe that the truest and most necessary “yardstick” is one’s passion for whatever avenue is taken. For me, it was my inherent ability (again one of my mother’s strong traits) to engage people in a trusting relationship leading to the resolution of their problems or issues. I receive tremendous satisfaction, even today as a consultant, when I am able to help someone work through their problem in a manner which is uniquely theirs with my only being a resource for their finding out that they had the answer all the while but just didn’t realize it. I will never be able to stop marveling at people’s hidden strengths which aren’t recognized because they are focused more on their weaknesses or the negativity of their situation. I guess that my destiny allowed people who chose to come to me to realize their destiny. I could only hope that others can experience the path that will bring them to experience the passion that I experienced in whatever they might choose.

Realizing that what we may think is our destiny may not always be how it ultimately pans out, though. I believe that there is a mysterious path that we may need to travel in order to come to the final point of realizing our destiny. This may mean that we need to experience a number of “dead end roads” before we come to the one that will lead us to where we need to go. However, instead of perceiving those roads as “negative” or “failures”, we might better view them as part of the process that will lead us to where we ultimately must go. It is a journey … as life is a journey … for which we do not have a GPS or roadmap but one that is well worth taking as we learn so much about ourselves.


Both as a consultant and author, Charles Bonasera’s story-telling have motivated people to change patterns and resolve problems in their lives. All of his books contain valuable, practical lessons that people can easily apply to bettering and managing their lifestyles. He has also written a myriad of articles which can be found on his website at www.charlesmbonasera.com.

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