Some of us would like to revisit our childhoods while others declare that they would never want to go through those early years again. Despite what personal philosophy we might embrace, there may be some meaning that can be taken from many of our earliest experiences that might serve us well in our adulthoods. Of course, there are the naysayers and fear mongers that hold out their cautionary negativity that may lead us to believe that we can’t do something or another. then, there are those of us who have held onto the sense of wonderment that children are famous for espousing and we continue to take the necessary, reasonable risks that might be entailed in our performing life’s tasks.
As we grow older, out perspective on life tends to change … some for the better and some for the worse. Where we once felt confident in our youth, we might now feel a sense of fear and doubt that we can accomplish whatever the task is that is set before us. These feelings can entrap us in a vicious circular pattern that resulting in our hiding from life rather than living it. It is in this pattern that depression, anxiety, fearing the unknown, an inability to take certain risks and doubting ourselves to the extent that we are paralyzed.
I am a great believer in calling on the past as an essential motivation in living life to the fullest. There are things … events … that upon recall can both bring a smile to our faces as well as an incentive to tackle whatever the problem is that we’re faced with. Allow me to cite some examples;
While working with a group of professional hockey players who were part of the Buffalo Sabres Hockey team, I asked that they come into my office for some meetings to try and get a handle as to why their proficiency while playing had dwindled to the extent that they were in danger of being benched, sent down to the farm team or placed on the trading block. All of them acknowledged that the kind of enthusiasm necessary in order to perform at their peak had eroded.
All of the players were veteran hockey professionals who had somehow lost a step or two over the course of their careers. After discussing some of the particulars that individuals were experiencing, I asked them, with my direction, to move into a deep relaxed state. Once I sense that they were very relaxed, I suggested that they take themselves back to their youths while playing pond hockey in their hometowns (most of them were of Canadian descent). Once there in their own minds, I asked that they just focused on their experience in much the same manner as they would be watching a video.
I allowed about fifteen minutes to pass without my saying anything further until it was time to come our of their visualization experience, whereupon I asked that they bring all of the good thoughts of having fun and enjoyment back to their conscious state. Each of the individuals opened their eyes only when they felt ready with some taking a longer time than the others. One individual, the French Canadian goalie continued to remain motionless with his eyes closed. The rest of the group was wary about talking about their experiences fearing it would interfere with their goalie’s continued state upon which I mentioned that he wouldn’t be at all bothered. As we started to talk about their individual experiences (all of them had played pond hockey when they were very young), the goalie opened his eyes and canvassed the room with his eyes and then blurted out in his broken English “that’s good stuff, man!”
That was only one of the many exercises that I subjected them to over a ten-week period. In addition to group meetings, I also worked with some of the players around some personal issues that were cited a s interfering with their performances. I received permission from the General Manager and Coach, Mr. Scott Bowman, to observe the team from the press box in order to determine whether my input was having a positive effect on those players referred to me. overall, once I concluded my involvement and having discussed the outcome with the Coach, it was ascertained that there indeed had been a positive effect as a result of my intervention.
Another example is that of a colleague who asked me to help her with the writing of a book that she had always wanted to write. She was experiencing what is called “writer’s block.” Actually the two of us were in my car having just had lunch and waiting to attend a marketing meeting. We happened to be in Sarasota, Florida very near a park that overlooked the Gulf of Mexico. I parked the car so that the view of the Gulf would serve as a calming influence in what I was about to accomplish. We talked for a few minutes both about the contents of her proposed book as well as the problem she was having in not being able proceed with her writing.
(13 August 2014)
Both as a consultant and author, Charles Bonasera’s story-telling have motivated people to change patterns and resolve problems in their lives. All of his books contain valuable, practical lessons that people can easily apply to bettering and managing their lifestyles. He has also written a myriad of articles which can be found on his website at www.charlesmbonasera.com.