The lost art of storytelling - parents telling stories to children - includes storytelling tips

Better Homes & Gardens, August, 1995 by Bob Baldwin

Ever since humans first learned to speak, parents have told stories to their children. Storytelling has the power not only to entertain, but to teach, to heal, and to transmit traditions and family lore from one generation to the next. Yet in this electronic age, families are in danger of losing their storytelling heritage.

"The tradition of telling stories within the family has really suffered," says Jay O'Callahan, one of America's best-known professional storytellers. "In times past, parents were probably more comfortable in their storytelling role than they are now. They had more time to spend with their children and they didn't have to compete with television."

Parents make wonderful storytellers because they have strong bonds with the listener and they know their child's needs better than anyone else, says O'Callahan. His career began when he started making up tales for his children more than 20 years ago.

Whether the legends are wellworn folk tales, family lore, or fantasies invented on the spot, they convey to the young listener a special sense of security and a knowledge of his or her place in the world. Children love to curl up on a parent's lap and hear a story told by someone who knows and cares about them. Television can't give them that.

Stories are perhaps the most effective teaching tool ever used. All of the world's great religions use tales and parables to preserve and transmit beliefs and values. Families can do that too.

"Stories work when lectures don't," says Bill Harley, whose yarns about his family are often heard on public radio. He recalls an outing when he and his youngest son, Dylan, were lagging behind while the rest of the family started up a mountain. After a quarter of a mile, Dylan was resisting every effort to coax him up the slope. Finally, Harley said, "Did I ever tell you about when I first went up the mountain as a boy?" Within a few minutes, father and son were climbing together, hand in hand. The story went with them to the top.

The positive power of weaving a tale goes deeper than teaching. Today, says O'Callahan, storytelling is being rediscovered as a healing activity. "When a child is crying, you put your arms around the child and talk. The mere sound of your voice is soothing. But when you tell the child a story, the power of imagination is also putting its arms around the child.

"A number of the stories I tell came out of pain. When my son, Teddy, was four, he bumped his shin and was outside crying. I went out and there he was with a badly bruised shin. I wanted to make him forget his troubles, so I told him a story."

One of O'Callahan's favorite examples of healing through storytelling is a true tale told to him by a woman he met while he was performing at the National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, Tennessee.

The woman, who worked with children dying of cancer, told O'Callahan about an 11-year-old named Jonathan who had leukemia. He had told his parents that after his death he would like them to scatter his ashes on Lake Michigan.

"When Jonathan died," O'Callahan continues, "his parents and his brother, Charlie, who was five, went out on their boat and cast Jonathan's ashes on the waters. A monarch butterfly flew down and Jonathan's mother said, 'Look! That's Jonathan!'

"The next day they were out on their boat and again a monarch butterfly flew down to them, and this time Charlie said, 'Look! That's Jonathan.' Later, they were on a beach and Charlie was stirring sand with a stick. An old gray moth flew up from the sand and Charlie shouted, 'Look! That's Jonathan...but he's wearing a different shirt.'"

O'Callahan says he went on to his next performance at the festival and told everyone the story. "To me it was that startling use of language that only a child could come up with. I think it allowed the family to see Jonathan's death as a transformation.

" When beginners tell stories, they often lack confidence. In that case, O'Callahan says, a parent might start by simply reading to the child. "But play with the rhythm of the words and the sound of your voice," he suggests. "Discover the fun of the tale reflected in the child's eyes. Doing this brings out the playfulness of the adult. When the adult is feeling playful enough, she can put down the book entirely and say, 'When I was a little girl....' That invites the child into the adult's childhood."

After a parent has gained more confidence, it's fun to begin inventing allegories on the spot, building on everyday experiences.

Storytelling takes the ordinary stuff of life and turns it into gifts for your children. Along with each tale, the listener receives an unspoken message that says, "You are special so I made this up for you."

RELATED ARTICLE: TIPS FOR TELLERS

Bill Harley, a master teller of tales, offers the following suggestions for parents who would like to enrich their storytelling skills:

* Choose stories that you like to tell. Select tales with a clear, simple, straightforward plot and a limited cast of characters. Folk legends are a natural choice for beginners.

* Memorizing a story word for word is generally not the best way to learn. When you know the story, start to tell it to yourself in your own words. When you're comfortable with the story, tell it to someone else.

* There is no one right way to spin a yarn. In the end, a particular style or technique is not nearly as important as the willingness and interest in sharing a story with someone.

* Be aware of the power of silence. It is as much a part of the story as words. It adds depth and excitement, and gives the listener, as well as yourself, a chance to picture what is happening.

COPYRIGHT 1995 Meredith Corporation

COPYRIGHT 2000 Gale Group courtesy of Find Articles

Steven Van Yoder is the author of Get Slightly Famous. He teaches small business owners how to duplicate his success and become a "slightly" famous author in your field. Visit www.getslightlyfamous.com to claim your FREE Slightly Famous Marketing Plan Workbook and learn how to attract more business with less effort by creating your own information empire. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com

Click here to return to the index of Articles

Should You Write a Book?

One morning, you open your inbox and find several e-mails that will boost your business. There is an invitation to speak at a local group comprised of your best prospects. Several emails have arrived from people who've "heard of you" and inquire about your services.

There is a message from a potential joint venture partner who has invited you to be a guest on a teleconference that will reach 500 people, all of them prospects. Later that day, a journalist calls. She wants to write a story about your business, which she heard about on a radio interview you gave weeks earlier.

Is this a fantasy? No. This could be a typical day in your life as a published author.

More and more business people are realizing the power of writing a book to catapult their businesses to a higher level. Speakers, consultants, coaches, therapists and other small business owners are learning that publishing a book is one of the most powerful marketing strategies available.

Published authors report that their lives change, often dramatically, when their books reach the marketplace. When you become an author, you become known as the expert. When you are known as an expert in your field, whatever your field, you will find that the world will beat a path to your door.

A Book Generates Visibility and Attracts Clients

Of all the information products you can create, a book has the greatest potential to open doors. A book can give you more recognition and professional credibility than audiotapes, CDs, videos, seminars, workshops and public speaking.

Since my book Get Slightly Famous was published last year, I have been amazed at how it has transformed my business.

Publishing my book was a newsworthy event that resulted in tens of thousands of dollars in new business, high-profile media coverage, speaking engagements, radio interviews, partnership opportunities, and too many other benefits to mention.

Prospective clients now hear about me from all over the world. The media regularly call me, and I appear in newspaper articles and radio interviews.

Get Slightly Famous is not just my most effective marketing tool. It has become the core of my brand identity. My book provides a marketing platform for my business that gives all my marketing efforts a natural, sharp focus.

Best of all, marketing is not such a struggle anymore.

As a successful author you will find the stress of constantly seeking new clients can largely become a thing of the past. Clients will seek you out, ready to pay good money for your services, because you are seen as a leader in your field. You become their first choice. It's Not Just a Book -- It's a Business!

Your book is the seed from which you can grow a multi-faceted "empire'' of related products and services, including seminars, teleclasses, reports, consulting packages, audiotapes, and other profitable information products.

Imagine selling thousands of books to trade associations as premiums for their members. Or how about creating a $49-a-month newsletter, a $995 home-study course, a $499 a year membership web site? Could you use your book as the basis for a year-long mentorship program for which individuals or groups that pay thousands of dollars a piece to participate? The idea is to see your book as a launching pad for new business opportunities.

Barbara Hemphill used her book Taming The Paper Tiger to develop a multi-pronged branding strategy. Hemphill offers organizing skills services designed to reduce stress and increase productivity. Her business is based almost entirely on her book.

Barbara has used her book to develop Taming the Paper Tiger software, gain an endorsement by Pendaflex, and found the Hemphill Productivity Institute. Her company now employs more than 70 Paper Tiger authorized consultants across the U.S. and Canada.

You can write a book!

Me, publish a book, you ask? Yes, you. It is easier than you might think, and you don't need to be a seasoned writer to become a published author.

Writing a successful book is not the easiest thing in the world, but it is entirely possible. The talents and expertise you bring to your clients can form the basis of a successful book. If you know your subject area, and can communicate your ideas in a clear, compelling, organized manner, becoming a published author is within your reach.

A strategy that works for many is to break the process into smaller steps by writing a series of articles. They then become the basis for a book. Or, you can work with a talented freelance writer to help you express your ideas clearly and with conviction.

The most traditional route is to find a publisher who will handle the production, marketing, promotion and distribution. This involves up front work (you write a detailed proposal, a table of contents, sample chapters and a market overview). Then you shop the proposal around to potential publishers, either on your own or with the help of a commissioned agent.

Self-publishing has many advantages over traditional publishing, the most compelling being greater financial returns for the author. "When you self-publish, you keep all the profits," says Dan Poynter, author of The Self-Publishing Manual. "Additionally, you get into print quickly, own the copyright, and take all applicable tax breaks."

On the downside, self-publishing can be expensive. You pay up front for all the production and distribution costs, and if your book does not sell, you will be stuck with the leftover inventory. However, if your book is successful, you will not only have the satisfaction and advantages of being a published author, you will make more money.

Whatever publishing route you choose, the Internet provides a global marketplace for your book. Never before has it been so easy to market a book if you are willing to invest the time and energy to write one.

Steven Van Yoder is the author of Get Slightly Famous. He teaches small business owners how to duplicate his success and become a "slightly" famous author in your field. Visit www.getslightlyfamous.com to claim your FREE Slightly Famous Marketing Plan Workbook and learn how to attract more business with less effort by creating your own information empire.

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com

Click here to return to the index of Articles

Human Rights Through the Art of Compassionate Rebel Storytelling

It has been said that whoever tells the stories, defines the culture. Perhaps that’s why people are looking for new stories, stories where the response is not violence, retaliation, and war, stories where basic human rights are not violated. Everyone wants to believe that human beings can make better choices than the ancient paths of destruction and despair.

The events of September 11, 2001 came as a new story to most Americans, but others around the globe have been living with similar atrocities for generations.

In addition to stories of armed retaliation, however, more and more stories have begun to emerge that speak to the more powerful, graceful part of ourselves when we let our pain and anger serve as a catalyst for rebelling against the status quo and taking compassionate action.

We first discovered the power of such stories when we began to wonder what would happen if we told stories not just from the vantage point of the victim but from a place of power and a belief that ordinary citizens can effect social change when faced with adversity and outrage. These are compassionate rebel stories.

Shortly before September 11, 2002, we collected a number of such inspiring stories and published them as The Compassionate Rebel: Energized by Anger, Motivated by Love. Now this collection canprovide the new stories we so desperately need to stop the cycle of violence escalating in the world around us. In these compassionate, rebellious acts of ordinary people, human rights are affirmed. Such stories of how people have responded to “That’s not fair” help us to tap into our own compassionate rebellion to create other stories and through them to change our culture.

The compassionate rebel exists in all of us. Our challenge is developing ways to tell our own stories and bear witness to the stories of others in order to create a more just society and protect the human rights of all.

We present the following lessons in hopes that the power of our stories put us on a more humane path.

Rebecca Janke Growing Communities for Peace

Compassionate Rebel Storytelling

PART ONE: Stories of Compassionate Rebels

1.    Story Selection:

Select appropriate compassionate rebel stories from The Compassionate Rebel: Energized by Anger, Motivated by Love by Burt Berlowe, Rebecca Janke and Julie Penshorn. The book may be purchased or five stories are available on the website www.compassionaterebel.org .

2.    Study Team assignment:

a)    Introduce the assignment with a discussion of the idea that “Whoever tells the stories, defines the culture” (see above). Ask students to identify familiar narratives, real or fictional, that illustrate how stories convey the values of their society.

b)    Divide students into study teams and assign one story to each study team. Ask each team to read the story (together or as a homework assignment) and discuss the reflection questions at the end. Encourage them to apply compassionate rebel concepts to their own lives and community.      

c)    Ask a spokesperson from each team briefly to describe their story and summarize their discussions.

3.    Class Discussion:

• What are some of the values these stories convey?
• In what way were these people rebellious? In what way compassionate?
• What other types of compassionate rebels do you know whose lives and actions could serve to create a new chapter for this book?

PART TWO: Personal Storytelling

1.    Introduction: Explain to students that we all have important personal stories that can also convey our values. Divide students into pairs and explain that each pair will share stories, one speaking while the other takes notes. These notes will then serve as the “raw material” for writing these stories. Emphasize the importance of respecting the privacy of all storytellers.

2.    Telling Stories of Injustice

a)    Working in pairs, students tell each other an early memory of injustice that they personally experienced. They should try to include these questions:

• What happened and how did you respond?
• Was one of your human rights denied?

b)    While one student talks, the other takes notes on the stories trying to capture the exact phrases or words the storyteller uses.

c)    Students then exchanges story notes and then write their own story using those words and phrases (These could be part of a homework assignment)

3.    Telling Stories of Joy

a)    Working in the same pairs, students tell each other a joyful early experience. They should try to include these aspects:

• Describe what happened in as much detail as possible, including the sights, sounds, smells, textures, and taste.
• Who was there? What were people doing?
• Why did this experience make you so happy?
• Did you experience a human right in action?

Again record each other’s story using the exact phrases or words the storyteller shares with you.  Students then exchanges story notes and then write their own story using those words and phrases (These could be part of a homework assignment)

4.    Telling Stories of Struggle

a)    Working in the same pairs (or a private writing session) students describe a current dilemma or struggle they are experiencing. They should try to include these questions:

• What makes it difficult
• What would you like to have happen to resolve the situation?
• Are there human rights in conflict?

b)    If working in pairs, use the process of listening and recording as used above.

c)    Students write their dilemma stories.

5.    Analyzing the Stories When the stories have been completed, invite students to reflect on what they have written. This reflection might be in the form of class discussion, discussion in pairs or small groups, or private writing.

a)    Stories of Injustice:

• How did you respond to the injustice? Do you still respond that way?
• What was your conflict resolution style then?  What is it now?
• What method are you using with your current dilemma as described in the third story? If you are, is this method still effective? If you are not, could your new method have been effectively applied? Is it time to try something different? (NB: We tend to develop our conflict resolution style before we are three years old and keep it unless we learn new things along the way.)
• Have any metaphors appeared in this story that have meaning for you?
• What have you learned about yourself after doing this exercise that you didn’t know before? Write your conclusions.

b)    Stories of Joy

• Why was this particular event joyful?
• What does the story show about what you value and hold as important and meaningful?
• Who else was present with you in this memory? What do you remember about this person or persons? What legacy did they give you? Is this a legacy that can be applied to your current dilemma?
• Have any metaphors appeared in this story that have meaning for you?

c)    Stories of Struggle

• What does your story of a current dilemma or struggle show that you value?
• Anger is good for identifying what you are against. Try to write a statement about how this dilemma or struggle shows about what you are against.
• Once you know what you are against, ask yourself what you are for. By doing this, research shows you will have three times the amount of energy to strive for it than you would have had if you only focused on your anger. Knowing what you support also allows you to tap into your compassion and gives you specific ways in which you can work for social change. Write a statement about what you are for, care about, and support.

PART THREE: Becoming a Compassionate Rebel

1. Taking a Compassionate Rebel Response: From your writings and the compassionate rebel stories you’ve read, brainstorm with your partner and/or another pair of partners about how each could respond as a compassionate rebel response to personal struggles or dilemmas.

• What response would you would like to make?
• What concerns, fears or excitement might you have in carrying out your compassionate rebel act?
• What support might you need to make this act?
• What steps would you need to take?

Write this part of your story.

2.    Assessing a Compassionate Rebellion: Report back to the group the results of your compassionate rebel act.

• Did it improve the situation?
• How did it make you feel? How did it make others feel?
• What human rights were addressed?
• If you had to do it over again, would you change anything? If so, what?
• How did you feel acting as a compassionate rebel, even if it didn’t change the situation?
• Do you feel this compassionate rebel act would make a good TV show or movie?

3.    Writing Your Own compassionate Rebel Story: Compile all previous writing into one compassionate rebel story and submit to www.compassionaterebel.org where stories are being continually collected for just this purpose. Thank you for contributing to a culture of peace and nonviolence!

Rebecca Janke, Associate, University of Minnesota Human Rights & Director, Growing Communities for Peace.

This article was copied, with permission, from this site: http://www.hrusa.org/september/activities/storytelling.htm

Courtesy of www.hrusa.org and their Human Rights and Peace Store -- www.humanrightsandpeacestore.org where individuals can actually buy the full text of the Compassionate Rebel.

Click here to return to the index of Articles

How To Make The Most Out of a Business Networking Event

You’re not alone. Most people are uncomfortable walking into a roomful of strangers. But networking at business events can help you grow your business, as well as allow you to do hands-on marketing research. Learning to mingle and to follow-up with business networking contacts is crucial to your self-employment success. The following techniques will assist you in connecting effectively with others.

Before the Event

Come prepared to network by bringing business cards, a pen and a small notebook. Make sure you eat before you go. If it’s a cocktail party, or finger foods are being served during the networking portion of the meeting, it’s better to carry only a drink, instead of trying to juggle a plate of food.

Know your goals: What is your purpose for attending this particular event? To meet certain people? To find prospective customers? To find a resource you need? Meet a new friend? Nurture existing relationships? Bring 20 business cards and promise yourself you won't leave until you've given out all the cards. Ask for other people's cards if you sincerely want to keep in touch with them. Not everyone you meet will be a good resource.

Ask the event host about dress code. Some events are Business Formal and people will be wearing business suites. Some events are Business Casual and there will be a mix of more relaxed styles. By knowing in advance what to expect, you maximize the feeling of being part of the group.

At the Event

First, arrive early. Get there early when the group is small and manageable. Enter the room with a smile. Even if you feel nervous, “act as if.” If you have a smile on your face, you will be perceived as approachable, enthusiastic, and friendly. (And you’ll feel a whole lot better, too!) Make sure you mingle. Do not isolate yourself with only your friends or colleagues you know. Move around. Spend no more than 5-6 minutes talking with any one person.

Ask your host to introduce you to people that you want to meet, or to get you started in a group where you know no one. If they have a Greeting Committee or Ambassadors, find out who they are and ask for help with introductions. Reach out to people standing by themselves, introduce people to each other. (As a side note, if you are part of a group or association that does not have a Greeting Committee, offer to become a one-person Greeting Committee. It gives you the perfect excuse to introduce yourself to everyone who walks in the door!)

When you meet a person, shake hands, and repeat their name. This not only helps you remember it, but it shows that you're making an effort to hear the name properly. Wear a nametag that is easy to read and is descriptive of you. Wear it on your right shoulder so that people can easily see it when they shake your hand. Create, practice and use a description of yourself and your work that can be said in 30 seconds or less. Know how to describe your work in one or two sentences. (This is commonly known as an Elevator Speech because it reflects what you can say in the time it takes to get from the ground floor to the top floor in an elevator.)

Listen more than you talk. Remember that there is nothing more flattering than someone who listens carefully and shows sincere interest in other people. Ask questions and listen to the responses so that you begin to understand the person. This also helps you to identify who might be a potential client for your own products and services. Take notes to help you remember what people have said. When you get back to the office, put all this information into your contact management software.

After The Event

Once you have someone’s business card, make sure you follow up with them within 24 hours of the event. If there’s an obvious win-win connection with someone you’ve met at an event, call them up and invite them to lunch to explore the connection further. When you write the networking event into your calendar, also add one or two hours the following day into your calendar for follow-up so that you know you have time to complete the task.

When you look upon networking events and business functions as an opportunity to meet new people, do some market research, and find potential clients, it can become a joy instead of a chore. Going in with a game plan makes you feel like you can really make the most of the event.

Karyn Greenstreet is a self-employment expert and small business coach. She shares tips, techniques and strategies with self-employed people to maintain motivation, stay focused, prioritize tasks, and increase revenue and profits. Visit her website at www.PassionForBusiness.com

Click here to return to the index of Articles

How to Profit From Networking

Sales are frequently developed through the relationships we have created with other people. Networking functions provide the opportunity to expand our contact list, particularly when we create and nurture quality relationships. It is not enough to visit a networking group, talk to dozens of people and gather as many business cards possible. However, every networking function has tremendous potential for new business leads. Here are five strategies to make networking profitable:

1. Choose the right networking group or event.

The best results come from attending the appropriate networking events for your particular industry. This should include trade shows, conferences, and associations dedicated to your type of business. For example, if your target market is a Fortune 500 company, it does not make sense to join a group whose primary membership consists of individual business owners.

2. Focus on quality contacts versus quantity.

Most people have experienced the person who, while talking to you, keeps his eyes roving around the room, seeking his next victim. This individual is more interested in passing out and collecting business cards than establishing a relationship. My approach is to make between two and five new contacts at each networking meeting I attend. Focus on the quality of the connection and people will become much more trusting of you.

3. Make a positive first impression.

You have EXACTLY one opportunity to make a great first impression. Factors that influence this initial impact are your handshake, facial expressions, eye contact, interest in the other person and your overall attentiveness. Develop a great handshake, approach people with a natural, genuine smile and make good eye contact. Notice the colour of the other person’s eyes as you introduce yourself. Listen carefully to their name. If you don’t hear them or understand exactly what they say, ask them to repeat it. Many people do not speak clearly or loudly enough and others are very nervous at networking events. Make a powerful impression by asking them what they do before talking about yourself or your business. As Stephen Covey states, “Seek first to understand and then to be understood.” Comment on their business, ask them to elaborate, or have them explain something in more detail. As they continue, make sure you listen intently to what they tell you. Once you have demonstrated interest in someone else, they will – in most cases – become more interested in you. When that occurs, follow the step outline in the next point.

4. Be able to clearly state what you do.

Develop a ten second introduction as well as a thirty second presentation. The introduction explains what you do and for whom. For example; “I work with boutique retailers to help them increase their sales and profits.” This introduction should encourage the other person to ask for more information. When they do, you recite your thirty second presentation. “Bob Smith of High Profile Clothing wanted a program that would help his sales managers increase their sales. After working with them for six months we achieved a 21.5 percent increase in sales. Plus, sales of their premium line of ties have doubled in this time frame.” As you can see, this gives an example of your work and the typical results you have help your clients achieve.

5. Follow up after the event.

In my experience, most people drop the ball here. Yet the follow-up is the most important aspect of networking. There are two specific strategies to follow:

• First, immediately after the event – typically the next day – you should send a handwritten card to the people you met. Mention something from your conversation and express your interest to keep in contact. Always include a business card in your correspondence.
• Next, within two weeks, contact that person and arrange to meet for coffee or lunch. This will give you the opportunity to learn more about their business, the challenges they face, and how you could potentially help them. This is NOT a sales call – it is a relationship building meeting.

Networking does produce results. The more people know about you and your business, and the more they trust you, the greater the likelihood they will either work with you or refer someone else to you.

Kelley Robertson, President of the Robertson Training Group, works with businesses to help them drive sales, increase profits and motivate their employees. Kelley is the author of “Stop, Ask & Listen - How to welcome your customers and increase your sales.” He can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at 905-633-7750.

Click here to return to the index of Articles

How to Cultivate A Network of Endless Referrals

No question about it; you provide one of the most valuable services imaginable. However, without an ongoing and ever-increasing number of new, quality prospects, you'll eventually run out of people with whom to share the benefits. You might even end up asking yourself that most dreaded of questions in the world of sales, which is, "Who do I talk to next, now that my original list of names has run out?" That thought can be downright discouraging, can't it? Then again, it need not happen.  

Develop profitable, win/win relationships with practically every new person you meet - whether one on one or in a social setting. How? Ask questions. Specifically, "feel-good" questions. These are questions designed to put your conversation partner at ease, and begin the rapport-building process.  

So what are some of these "Feel-good" type questions?

1. "How did you get started in the 'widget' business?" I call this the "Movie-of-the-Week" question because most people love the opportunity to "tell their story" to someone. This, in a world where most people don't care enough to want to know their story.
2. "What do you enjoy most about what you do?" Again, you are giving them something very positive to associate with you and your conversation. You are making them feel special, important.

You've begun to establish a nice rapport with your new prospect. You are focusing on him or her, as opposed to you and your awesome product, as most salespeople do. He or she is starting to feel good about you and has enjoyed answering your first two "Feel-good" questions. Now it's time for the "One key question," and here it is:

"Pat, how can I know if someone I speaking with would be a good prospect for you?"

Here, you've continued to establish yourself as being different from all others they meet who are in business, who only seem to want to know, "How can you help me." Also, since you are asking for help in identifying their prospects, she will gladly supply you with an answer. And the fact is, nothing builds trust and credibility with a prospect than actually referring business to them whenever possible.

Your conversation has ended and you never even mentioned your products or services. Good, since your relationship with this new prospect may not be far enough along for him or her to be receptive to this. (At other times it's very advisable to bring up.) That's fine. Hopefully, you've gotten your prospect's business card. Now you are in the position to follow up correctly and systematically in order to nurture this new relationship.

Whenever meeting new people, the above questions will help you to very quickly build your prospect list with high-quality people. And, in a manner that is fun and without stress. You'll never again feel the "discomfort" in the pit of your stomach, knowing that you have to nervously and clumsily approach someone you don't want to approach, and whom you can just sense, does not want to be approached.

Know this: the typical person knows about 250 people. Thus, every time you meet one new person, and develop a relationship based on the fact that he or she now feels as though they "know you, like you and trust you" you've actually just increased your personal prospect list a potential 250 people, every single time. Do this often enough and before long, you'll cultivate a network of endless referrals.

Bob Burg is author of Endless Referrals: Network Your Everyday Contacts Into Sales and Winning Without Intimidation: How to Master the Art of Positive Persuasion, both with over 100,000 copies sold. His newest booklet is The Successs Formula. He also publishes a free weekly ezine newsletter. To sample, go to www.burg.com/newsletter.html

Click here to return to the index of Articles

How Storytelling Can Grow Your Business

People love stories. We love to hear about other people, and stories help us to learn, remember and put to use new concepts. Aesop knew this. His fables help us to learn life lessons through tales about others, without having to learn them the hard way.

In modern times, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen also understand the power of stories to teach, motivate, and inspire. Their "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books continue to sell in the millions of copies because they tap into our primal need to connect with others through storytelling.

What can stories do for you and your business? Stories can educate customers about a need they have and how you fill it, subtly demonstrate your expertise, create empathy, suggest new uses for your products, train new customers and employees, and motivate listeners to take action.

I recently observed several group presentations by an insurance agent. He knew many of the people in the audience, and prior to each presentation he would look for someone who had made a claim under their policy and ask them to tell the audience how the benefits had helped them through a difficult time. If there was no one in the audience to do it, he would tell about someone who had used the policy and what it had done for them. The stories the agent told were effective, but hearing the claimants themselves was incredibly powerful. Hearing someone talk about the uncertainty of illness, the expenses they faced which were not covered by other insurance, and what the benefits meant to them was moving. I'm sure he sold lots of policies!

Where will you get stories? Stories from your own experience can be effective, and they are unique. You may also get stories from customers, employees, friends and others. The media can be a source of stories. Stories that are familiar because they have been told through the media can establish a commonality between you and your audience, or among members of your audience. Stories unique to your experience provide a personal touch, and can be surprising because they are not known to the audience.

Another possibility is creating composite or fictional stories. This may not be acceptable in some circumstances. For example, several newspaper columnists have been fired for making up stories, or creating composite characters, and passing them off as absolute truth. However, if your primary purpose is to educate or entertain, and you are not presenting them as news, you may take some liberties with minor details of your stories or take bits and pieces from multiple stories and combine them into one composite. Remember that it is important to maintain credibility, so don't do anything that would deceive your audience.

Once you have your stories, where will you use them? Tell them when you are in one-on-one meetings, in group presentations, and when making speeches. Write them down and include them in articles, brochures, sales letters, on your web site and in other written communications. Record them on audio or video and use them in commercials. Use them when training new employees to teach them about your company and its culture. Publish them in your client or company newsletter to reinforce emotional ties.

Stories are a powerful tool which teach and motivate by making an emotional connection with your audience. Use them wisely and well.

Copyright Cathy Stucker. As the Idea Lady, Cathy Stucker can help you attract customers and make yourself famous with inexpensive and free marketing ideas. Get free tips, articles and more at http://www.IdeaLady.com.

Click here to return to the index of Articles

Secrets To Buying Without Being Sold

Have you ever asked yourself, now how did I let that guy sell me on something that I had no real need for at the time? Do you ever get a sneaking suspicion that your probably not going to really use ...

Have you ever asked yourself, now how did I let that guy sell me on something that I had no real need for at the time? Do you ever get a sneaking suspicion that your probably not going to really use whatever it is that your buying in the way that it was presented? If this is true which is often the case, then why in the heck do we give up our hard earned money for something that until we heard some sales spiel, we really had no need or want to have.

Please allow me to expose what marketers do to us on a regular basis in an effort to develop those perceived wants, needs and desires in us which drive us to buy what is being offered.

Let me first tell you that My wife Kimberly was at one time a true life consumer protection agent for Pinellas county Florida and I along with her have the same bent attitude towards protecting people as opposed to seeing them being taken advantage of, If you can let your guard down for a minute I think you’ll absorb these keys to understanding better and you’ll get more out of what I’m about to tell you.

Secrets that marketers don’t want you to know!

(When you buy, use logic not emotion)

• • A good marketer or salesman will always make it as easy as possible for you to buy whatever they are selling, check, cash, credit, fax, phone, mail or on line, That’s fine we want that, but almost without question once you have decided that your ready to check out you’ll find the up-sell pitch almost preventing you from completing the transaction. The up-sell is where once they have you sold on the least expensive item or package deal, they attempt to upgrade you to a more expensive premium feature, option or package.

A Variation of this technique is the cross-sell, this is where they start adding options to the item that you have decided to buy, cars are a good example with undercoating, floor mats, premium sound systems, Sport packages etc… these are things that enhance the desirability of the original product sold.

Key: Don’t fall for the sale, after the sale.

• • The next tactic relied upon by many is to prey upon your fears, there is a rule that says people will buy ten times more often to relieve fear then they will to obtain pleasure, insurance companies use this tactic by instilling fear and guilt in you by saying you will be leaving your family broke, destitute and homeless if you fail to provide this protection through the products they sell. Once they have the fear established then you would see the focus put into selling the benefits that would result from your wise decision to buy today.

KEY: Recognize when someone is trying to instill or plant fear into you and also remember who initiated the conversation. Did you originally need this protection or has someone made you feel that way through a mind altering sales script.

• • Their next ploy is the take-away, here they employ the factors of scarcity, greed and time, you often see it used in the following manner; You must act now on this exclusive offer, we only have a limited supply at this price, this won’t last long call now! In this case they make it appear there’s not many, it’s a great deal and it will be gone, you are about to lose the advantage, the edge, the deal, the benefit, the opportunity will be gone.

Again the fear of loss and the loss of pleasure are being used to get you to logically make an emotional decision based on fear, they want you to act fast so you don’t have time to think!

Key: Know that the deal will most often be there tomorrow and think logically when making your decision on whether or not to buy, use time as your ally.

The ability to make quick decisions and stick to them is an admirable quality, but you must insure you indeed did make the right decision to start.

• • You must be aware or beware of savvy salesman, one trademark quality of this type of individual is his or her ability to lower your resistance to their pitch, often you find them criticizing the product or service before you get the chance, this is known as Objection Resolution. Based on their experience they know what often will prevent a sale before they begin, so they bring it up first to effectively remove their biggest obstacle to the sale.

Key: Ask yourself if this feature is critically important to the products ability to solve, provide for, or deliver the results that you intend to buy it for, if not? Then you may consider dwelling awhile on the defect to get a price concession or discount based on that fact. Don’t allow your resistance to be lowered through dissolving, disabling or disarming sales double talk.

• • Another orchestrated event you’ll often see is the use of the image plant or involvement device these are designed to get you into an ownership state of mind as if the product or service being sold is already yours and the benefit will now be achieved. By getting you to envision some great outcome or result they tout how much better your life will be, IE… Slimmer, stronger, healthier, happier, WEALTHIER! When dealing with hard goods they ask you to hold it, feel it and smell how nice it is, by getting you to investigate further they increase the odds that you will take ownership. How about a free test drive?

Key: Remember! A generous offer often comes with a hefty price tag, don’t allow yourself to get involved to quickly in what seems to be the deal of a lifetime.

• • Moving on to the super smooth and accomplished salesperson we find an even more persuasive individual who is adept at patterning and mirroring you yourself! These people will move as you move, adjust the tone and dialect of their speech patterns to your type and style while getting you to respond with as many yes answers as possible, if they can get you nodding and saying yes to obvious questions that evoke that response then you could say that they are conditioning you to continue agreeing with what will come next, that question being: And how would like to pay for that? Will that be cash or charge? Would you like that in red or blue? That is the close or what is called assuming the sale.

As you can see these types are very well healed and they actually are using a little acting and showmanship on you, They use scripts to control the sales event and they don’t leave much to chance, if your weak and unprepared then consider yourself vulnerable to being persuaded by this professional at work.

Key: Ask your own questions to take them out of their script, and when they prompt you for that affirmative yes answer, say to yourself: I’d like to think about that for a moment. Again slow the process down to see what’s going on before it’s too late.

• • One last Character and we’ll rap this thing up, this fellow presents the good ole boy image, the friendly type who spends a great deal of time conditioning you to buy through storytelling, he’ll give you examples of others who received extraordinary results, benefits, satisfaction, performance, reliability or a hundred other favorable outcomes from taking his advice.

Key: If you find yourself being captivated by good storytelling then you should recognize that your tendency to buy is slowly being increased. Once you recognize the method you should immediately refocus on your specific needs and what the product or service actually delivers. Again you’ll need to use logic to avoid the emotional images being conjured and implanted throughout the presentation.

There’s an old saying that says the more you tell the more you sell, I can agree with that to some extent but I come back to the fact that if something is of great value at a low price, it sells itself! with only enough advertising to get word of mouth to do the rest.

By now I probably have you afraid to leave the house after telling you how these individuals go about their craft, fear not educated consumer we have a solution!

Simply by understanding and recognizing the simple tactics used in the trade we can effectively neutralize them and continue on our way to getting the best deals on the products and services that we truly need, want and desire.

Lets recap and create our own script or methods to counter the professional salesman’s effort.

How can we neutralize Up-sells, Cross-sells, Fear of loss, Use of guilt and shame, take-a ways, pre-emptive resolutions, Image plants and involvement devices, Patterning and Mirroring, Assumptive closes, and good storytelling? Simply by recognizing that they are being used to stir our emotions in a sales situation!

Once you are aware of the tactic and recognize that it is being employed you can defend against it, now you know the rules of the game and can make an effective corresponding move to counter the well thought out strategy of the seller.

How can we make the buying events easier on ourselves other than just keeping our guard up for all these different emotional appeals?

I believe the #1 way to insure a great deal is to know whom your dealing with! By using referrals, reviewing unbiased testimonials and obtaining proof in cases where you don’t actually know the person or company in question you will be one step closer towards feeling as though you will receive more than an average benefit from the transaction. Note: If you can cut out the middleman than I encourage you to do so whenever possible.

Try to buy direct from the source through friends or their referrals to people they know, reputations are put on the line and personal service with care is more often rendered, this is where having a large network to rely on will help you to achieve better pricing on guaranteed products and services

Again this is the first step in stacking the deck in your favor, once you have come this far its time to interview the seller to insure again that they aren’t going to use those classic tactics we’ve become so accustomed to.

They may be friends, acquaintances, or rock solid referrals however we still need to ask tough questions to determine various levels of competence, product knowledge and proficiency to determine their credibility. As they say, actions speak louder than words, do they have integrity are they honest? Can they be relied upon as an authority regarding the business dealings you’re undertaking?

You need to ask tough questions in order to get the correct answers in these fact finding missions, this pays big dividends in the long run, because you strengthen your resources while gaining the respect you deserve as a paying customer.

In the end your not going to be able to use a single script like a person or company who sells the same products or services day in and day out but you can understand how those companies operate and thereby be an informed and educated buyer when your needs arise for the products and services they sell.

This report was written to help you buy right without being sold!

Sincerely yours, Dan Auito.

Dan Auito is a dual-licensed real estate agent and appraisal assistant. Dan is a 20-year veteran of the United States Coast Guard. He has acquired over 1.3 million in real estate assets in 14 years while also founding a non-profit drug prevention corporation, a real estate consulting group and is the author of “Magic Bullets in Real Estate.” This 300-page power-packed book (due out in early July 2004) comes with a website that further supports its readers. Dan lives with his wife Kimberly and their two children, Brandon and Briana, on the emerald isle of Kodiak Island, Alaska. Dan may be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or by visiting www.magicbullets.com. Call 1 907 481-6300 or write 1619 Three Sisters Way Kodiak AK 99615

Click here to return to the index of Articles

Improve Internal Controls through Storybooks

As the Controller of XYZ Corp., Sue is a proponent of Management by Walking Around. One morning, as she was strolling through the offices and checking in with her staff, she noticed several people on the Internet, engrossed in personal business. One employee was looking over his portfolio of investments and another was shopping at a well-known women’s store—clearly not job-related activities!

As Sue returned to her desk, her frustration grew. Just the month before, she and the rest of the executive team had issued a policy defining the parameters for using company access to the Internet. Obviously, the new policy was not being followed despite memos and a series of meetings to explain the policy.

“I just witnessed about $5,000 in lost productivity in one walk,” Sue thought. “There must be a more effective way to convey the message about what’s expected. What we’re doing is definitely not working.”

Does this sound like your company or your clients? Are you tired of reiterating the same policy messages—only to have them fall on deaf ears again and again? If this situation is one of the frustrations that you deal with on a regular basis, take heart: there is a powerful solution to the problem that will significantly enhance adherence to your policies.

The solution is innovative, easier to implement than a policy manual that gets ignored, and effectively shapes behavior. It is an approach that has been called managing by ‘storying around.’

Disney Corporation is known for its storytelling for entertainment, but did you know that the company also uses stories to manage its operations?

So do companies such as FedEx, The Container Store and Armstrong International, whose stories have been featured in past issues of this Corporate Storytelling e-zine. The reason is simple: people pay far more attention to stories than to boring policy manuals. The fascination with stories does not end with childhood. We all are drawn to, connect with and remember stories that relate to our own experiences.

“Santa Claus keeps track all year of who’s been good and who hasn’t. Unless you’re good, he won’t leave any of the things on your list; he’ll leave you a lump of coal instead.” Remember how that story motivated you to be aware of your behavior and to try your best to be on Santa’s "good” list? This is one simple example of the power of story in shaping behavior.

At Armstrong International, stories have been used since 1988 to shape desired behavior—without a policy manual in sight! Stories have proven to be so effective in modeling the behavior that management wants, as soon as a new collection of stories is issued, employees dig into them like the latest best seller. They even take them home to read immediately!

The proof of the storytelling system is clear: People use the stories to guide their own decision-making—and to remind one another of Armstrong's way of doing business.

Note: Ron Rael, The Corporate Culture Coach, and Evelyn co-presented an executive briefing for CPAs on using story to maintain internal controls. According to Ron, himself a CPA, “the cost to implement this system is far less than developing policy manuals. And, as a number of leading companies have proven, it works!” For more information on Ron’s culture coaching services, go to www.ronrael.com.

Click here to return to the index of Articles